It is very important to understand what makes a conversation pleasant, and what makes it a bore? When it comes to first dates, there’s nothing that will impress your date better than the first few minutes of charming conversation. So, knowing the perfect first date conversation starters can make or break your first date, and more often than not, you may not even realize it.
You see, it all comes down to first impressions.
If someone forms a bad first impression of you, it’s pretty hard for you to change it.
However, if you make a positive first impression, you’re starting off on the very best footing possible. That’s why it’s vital that you hone your conversation skills, and help to impress the pants off the person you have your eye on.
How to perfect your first date conversation
A first date helps you judge the person you’re meeting. It also helps you to evaluate them as a dating potential over the long term.
There are a few people who always find it very easy to impress all their dates, all the time. On the other hand, there are a few other people who always seem to fail miserably at making a great first impression no matter how hard they try.
Ever wondered what it takes to impress someone within the first few minutes?
1. Body language
2. How you present yourself in terms of your appearance
3. Whether you hold eye contact or not
4. Whether you’re smiling or frowning – Make sure it’s a smile!
5. What you say
6. The tone of your voice
7. Showing them that you’re paying attention and listening – Put the phone down!
Let’s explore this in more detail.
23 first date conversation tips to charm that special someone
Impressing a date takes more than just words. The way you behave and treat the person you’re with on a date can play a big part too.
Use these easy ways to better your conversation and you’ll definitely leave your date feeling warm and happy.
1. Start the date well
Pick a date spot that both of you would like, and make sure you arrive on time.
Be warm and courteous while talking, and make sure you address your date by their name a few times within the first ten minutes to make the date feel more personal.
2. Smile, but make sure it’s genuine
Smiling is a great way to cut the awkwardness of the first date. Smile often, and your date will feel more relaxed and comfortable around you immediately.
3. Be sure you actually like your date
If you’re eager to meet your date or are excited to see them, make sure it shows. Feel positive about the date, and the person you’re meeting will feel positive around you too.
Remember, positive energy always attracts positive energy.
4. In a first date conversation, always remember your manners
Treat your date with respect and remember to be courteous and kind during the date. It’s completely acceptable to goof up or slip up once in a while, just as long as you shrug the accident off with a laugh instead of appearing nervous or awkward.
In fact, a silly slip up can actually make the evening more fun and memorable.
5. Have a few things to talk about in your mind
During the first conversation, avoid asking about their past relationships or their future life plans. The two of you aren’t dating yet, so asking questions that are too personal too early into the date can make you appear nosy or intrusive.
Ask the right questions though, and your date will open up to you and may even fall for you before the end of the date.
6. Flatter, but only in moderation
Be generous with your compliments. When you appreciate the effort your date took to dress up and look good for you, they’d warm up better towards you. But always learn to be genuine about compliments, without going overboard or overly personal.
7. Use positive words
Be positive when you meet your date and use positive words during the date. Look around the restaurant and tell your date what you like about the place, or tell your date how glad you are to spend time with them.
When you see the positive side in everything around you, your optimism will make you seem more attractive.
8. Find some common ground in your first date conversation
While conversing with your date, try to find something both of you like or dislike within the first fifteen minutes. Bitch about something both of you hate or talk excitedly about something both of you love.
Finding a passionate common ground will help both of you realize just how common both your likes and dislikes are.
9. Be a little tactile, but make sure it’s appropriate
Place your hand on the table and lean towards your date almost all throughout the date. It’s a subtle sign that you’re trying to come closer to them. If your date likes you back, they too may lean forward while talking to you.
Unless your date leans in or tries to get closer to you, avoid reaching out and touching them unnecessarily. But if your date does lean in towards you now and then, place your palm on their palm occasionally while trying to emphasize a point. It’s the perfect way to start the game of touchy flirting.
10. Make regular eye contact
If you’re having a great time with your date, you can’t help but open your eyes wide with excitement. While speaking with your date, hold a strong gaze now and then, look deeply into their eyes and nod casually when they say something.
It shows that you’re completely focused on them, and aren’t distracted during the date. Of course, don’t do it too often or you may look creepy with your piercing, glazed eyes!
11. Be mindful of your body language
Be aware of your body when you’re sitting across the table or next to your date. Don’t fidget or rock your body forward and backward, and don’t nod your head forever like you’ve got a spring for your neck.
Sit back comfortably and move gracefully, be it while stepping away from the table or while reaching across the table.
12. Make your mind up!
Indecisiveness is a definite turn-off for everyone. It may be cute now and then, but on a first date, taking too long to order food, deciding the wine, or contemplating aloud about what to order for several minutes is a definite sign of annoyance.
13. Make sure you speak clearly
A woman’s voice is naturally higher pitched than a man’s, but irrespective of gender, don’t be loud or brash. Speak softly and clearly in a relaxed manner without mumbling. The softer you speak, the calmer and more relaxed your date will feel. And a pleasantly soft voice will make you appear romantic and caring too.
14. Watch their reactions
Keep an eye on your date’s behavior. You may assume you’re having an interesting conversation but your date may feel otherwise.
If your date seems to be looking around the room, shuffling their feet, staring blankly at you or in any way distracted, talk about something else, or wrap your statement up quickly and discreetly, laugh awkwardly and use the time tested line, “I’m talking too much… why don’t you tell me something…?”
15. Gesticulate, but not too much!
Gestures are a great way to show your excitement in a conversation. And they also subtly draw the person you’re having a conversation with right into the conversation.
Just avoid being overly dramatic while swaying your hands around though, and restrict your hand movements to within half a feet on either side of your body during the first date.
16. Don’t hog the conversation
Don’t interrupt or speak at length about the same topic unless your date adds their point of view about the same topic frequently.
Keep your sentences short, so your date gets to respond or add their own point of view often. The shorter your end of the conversation *around a minute at a stretch is good enough unless you’re telling an anecdote*, the more interactive the evening would start to feel.
17. Learn to disagree respectfully
In every conversation, there are bound to be differences in opinions. If your date disagrees on something, don’t try to prove a point with a clenched fist on the table.
Laugh about it, express your view lightheartedly and try to steer the conversation in another direction. And if the disagreement does last for over a minute, you’ve already taken it too far!
18. Don’t be afraid of silences
If you feel comfortable instead of feeling awkward during a quiet moment, your date will feel relaxed too. Just smile and look around, or get back to finishing your meal instead of mumbling nervously just to fill the gaps in the conversation. You need to remember that silence too is a part of the conversation.
19. Tease a little and show your playful side
A playful nature is one of the most attractive traits in a person, especially on a date. Laugh, share a funny real-life experience and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself now and then.
A good sense of humor can definitely help you impress your date during your first date conversation and make the evening more fun and interesting.
20. Avoid controversial subjects
You want this night to be light and fun, right? First-date conversations do not include controversial subjects. So, avoid anything related to politics, current affairs, religion, and extremely divisive subjects of the time – you know, like should pineapple be on pizza? Just kidding.
Yes, you should be able to talk about anything and disagree respectfully but some subjects are best left until you know each other a little better. You don’t know this person well enough to understand how they are going to react to a specific subject. It’s best to wait it out a little.
22. Do not, we repeat, do not talk about your ex in your first date conversation
Leave it alone seriously. It doesn’t matter whether you’re dissing your ex, complimenting them, or explaining that you have a great and mature relationship. Just leave them out of it.
Talking about your ex-relationship just makes the person think you’re not over it. That’s not going to make a good first impression.
23. Be sure to end the date well
Ending the date warmly and memorably is just as important as the first few minutes of the date. As long as you end the evening in a memorable manner, you’ll leave your date thinking fondly of you.
Exchange pleasantries while hugging or kissing goodbye, and tell your date how wonderful your date was, and that you’d love to see them again sometime soon.
A romantic or memorable evening isn’t created out of thin air. It’s created through the conversations you have, and the memorable moments that you create with each other.