Most men do certain things that turn women off. Women often complain that “all the good ones are taken.” Yet, there are plenty of men they know or have met along their life’s journey that are good guys.
Unfortunately, these women haven’t felt that chemistry or an attraction for these good guys for several reasons.
If you are that “nice guy” who’s tired of being overlooked or know someone who can relate, then it’s likely that you’re not being truly yourself with the women you meet or are dating.
Here are seven of the biggest turn-offs for women.
1. Being too agreeable.
If you’re quick to say “yes” to everything she wants or agrees with everything she says, then you’re not being truly yourself.
Some men believe that women want someone who appears easy-going, but most women want to be with a man that has his own opinions and interests. We also love when a man initiates things, like phone calls and romantic dates. [ Read: 6 Physical Qualities Men Want Most In A Woman, According to Science]
2. Playing hard to get.
When you’re at a bar having fun with your friends, and a hot girl walks up next to you, do you ever suddenly turn off your fun, silly self and become Joe Cool?
Men think if they act cool and aloof, a woman will be more interested in them. He thinks that acting unavailable — or playing games — is the way to win a woman’s heart. However, if a woman doesn’t feel like a man is interested in her, she’s not going to stick around to chat, much less give out her phone number (or social media accounts).
3. Avoiding confrontation.
If you’re a man who gives away his power and lets her run the show, be warned that most women become very turned-off by that kind of behavior. Women want a man who is strong and who can protect them. He needs to be able to stand up for himself and for his woman.
4. Acting insecure.
The number one attractant for both men and women is confidence — but confidence comes more easily for some than for others.
However, if you really like yourself and hold true to who you are and what you value, then you’re on the right path. Also, women find the ability to speak truthfully and ask for what they need to be extremely sexy traits in a man.
5. Being too needy.
If you’re the kind of man who gets wildly jealous and won’t even let your woman gaze at another man, then that’s a serious trust issue. And it’s most likely that you don’t trust yourself, but instead, project those feelings on the one you’re with.
Also, if you need to feel validated about how fabulous you are, then you’re depending on someone else to fill you up. Instead, you need to learn how to validate yourself and know how fabulous you are without needing someone else to confirm it.
6. Being boring.
When your preference for how you spend a Saturday includes sitting in front of the T.V. and watching the game with your hands down your pants, you are not being the man every woman fantasizes about — no matter how nice you are.
Most women want to spend quality time with their men, and that doesn’t mean staring at a sport that she’d rather chew glass than watch. Don’t get me wrong, some women love watching sports, but that’s not the case for most, and that’s not what most want to do every weekend. [Read: What Turns Men On? 20 Desirable Traits Men Want to See In a Woman]
7. Complaining too much.
If you’re a man who complains about how difficult things are or, even worse, how expensive things are, you’re not going to come off as Mr. Dreamboat. Women want to be with a man who is sure of himself, is determined to get what he wants, and who lives a “the glass is half full” kind of life.
8. Needing always to be right.
You won’t always be right. The odds aren’t on your side. Disrespecting our views along your quest for an ego boost will leave us asking for the bill.
9Not being able to laugh at yourself.
10. A charming quality in a guy is humility. No one is perfect, and if you can’t admit when you mess-up and learn to move past it, the relationship will feel too fragile.
11. Trying to sleep with someone after a mediocre date. I’d like to think that men know when there’s a great connection and when there isn’t. Yet, plenty of men continue to assume that a first date will lead to spending the night together. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, your best bet is to wait for anything sexual to happen and get to know the woman first.
12. Having too high of expectations from your partner. If you need a woman who always wears makeup, works out four times a week, and dresses in heels, please be upfront. It will save the woman you’re on a date with a night wasted with someone whose expectations are superficial.
13. Not being loyal to your friends. I’ve been with men who would sabotage their friendships to get ahead in their careers. I’d be kidding myself not to assume they’d do the same to me if they had the chance.
14. The assumption that we need to be saved. The trope of prince-charming coming in to save the princess might’ve made for great Disney movies, but this is 2020. We don’t need you to save us because we’re not failing. In fact, we’re thriving.
15. Treating your mother badly. It’s one thing not to have a relationship with your mom, but it’s a whole other thing to have a relationship but treat her like she’s a burden you never asked for. Women know that how a man treats his mom is usually indicative of how they treat women altogether.
16. Acting like you’re a highly wanted man. No woman is going to hear that and think, “oh wow, I need to get him before someone else does!” It’ll either offend someone with high self-esteem or make your date feel insecure. Neither of those is a good outcome for you.
17. Waiting days to text back. Playing games is a thing of the past. Many women are realizing that they’re not interested in someone who doesn’t have reliable communication and shows they’re interested.
18. Talking about your ex (a lot). If they naturally come up in the conversation, great. But if you’re talking too much about them, your date will start to wonder if you’re still hung up on your ex. If you are, that’s OK, but maybe you’re not ready to date yet.
19. Following a bunch of bikini models on Instagram. This is a touchy topic, so let me clarify: It’s not that we’re insecure about our own bodies compared to the women you follow. Hell, most of us don’t even care about that women’s choice of career path. What we care about is respect. [Read: Porn For Couples: 10 Reasons Why It Might Just Save Your Relationship]
20. Constantly being negative. No one appreciates a Negative Ned. A relationship is supposed to be an addition to your life that lifts you up. Your date won’t want to keep seeing you if you’re always bringing the vibe down.
21. Telling us how you’re a “nice guy.” If you have to say you’re a “nice guy,” you’re probably not a nice guy. By now, women know that a man who gets defensive about being nice is someone who’s hiding something.
22. Not respecting our boundaries. When we say that your jokes are offensive or we don’t want to go home with you, and you persist with your ways, it makes women feel unsafe. Boundaries are the only way we maintain safety when meeting someone new. Please respect them.
23. Aggressive masculinity. You want to fight the bartender because he looked at me in a flirty way? Why is that? Because it’s not going to impress a woman. If anything, it’s going to scare her away.
24. Love-bombing. Putting on a front that you’re a sweet person when you’re actually critical and short-tempered isn’t doing either of you a favor. Either work on yourself or find a person who will put up with that from the get-go.
25. Calling us the c-word (or any woman for that matter). I’m not referring to c*nt because that one is pretty obvious. But calling a woman crazy (that includes your ex) won’t go over well for you.
26. Mansplaining. I know it’s shocking, but women can understand things without you talking slowly or explaining the most basic concepts. In fact, we probably don’t need you to explain because we already understand how football and the stock market work.
27. Feeling entitled. Just because you paid for dinner doesn’t mean you are entitled to sex, a kiss, or anything—hard stop.
28. Making jokes at our expense. You might think it’s light-hearted, but you can usually tell by a woman’s reaction if she was offended. If so, apologize and move on. [Read: 15 Incredible First Date Tips for Guys (to Have Her Begging for a Second)]
29. Interrupting. It’s a rude habit that comes off like you don’t care. Interrupting someone isn’t a great communication skill in any aspect of life, but especially in dating.
30. Sending unsolicited d*ck pics. I’ve written about this before, and somehow, men still think women want them, so here are cold, hard statistics. 75% of women don’t want them.