Singer Britney Spears has claimed that she has suffered terrible abuse during her 13-year conservatorship that she will never be able to get over.
On Monday, she posted a long caption on Instagram next to a picture of her favorite flower, a rose, talking about how she fears she may never be able to overcome the hardships that she has experienced.
Britney Spears Says She Feels She ‘Will Forever Be Traumatized By My Past Experience For Life’
The “Oops!… I Did It Again” singer shared a close-up photo of a rose on her Instagram account on Monday to get her follower’s attention. She began her post by saying that social media is “crazy” because everyone’s life seems so perfect. Britney said it’s difficult for her to share content online because she is so “utterly and completely embarrassed” by her past, that she feels it might overshadow everything she posts.
“It’s crazy … social media 📱 … everybody’s life seems so perfect and when I post things I think most of the time I’ve been utterly and completely embarrassed of my past … and who can forget those documentaries 🎥 ???” she asked.
Britney admitted that she tries to make her life look better than it may seem, but she feels that she will “forever be traumatized” by what she has experienced, to the point where she doesn’t think that even therapy will be able to help her.
“So yes, I do try and post me looking my best or what it may seem to be the good life … well the truth is, my spirits are better but I will forever be traumatized by my past experience for life 😔 … there is no way to fix me, my emotions and my sensitivity … therapy, all of it !!!” she said.
Britney Says She Thinks She Needs ‘Some Sort Of Miracle For My Emotions’
Even though she just got married in June, Britney confessed that she cries herself to sleep most nights and added that she is “insecure” over different things, such as her posture.
“I think I will need some sort of miracle for my emotions,” Britney wrote. “My life is by no means picture perfect … I cry myself to sleep most night … I’m insecure as hell … I don’t know how to have good posture unless I’m on camera 📷 … and I need to go to a school just to be taught how to freaking walk 🙄.”
Britney went on to say that although her fans see her as a performer, she said that she feels that everything she does is an “act” and she has “no clue” when it comes to her personal life.
“… I know you say ‘but you are a performer’ … well that’s it !!!” Britney continued. “It’s an act on stage … in real life I have no clue 🤷🏼♀️ … and I’m working on that !!!”
Britney Spears Is Slowly Learning To Ask For ‘More’
It seems Britney is still trying to figure out what she really does want her in her life. She knows that she wants “more” of something, but it seems she’s not sure what she wants “more” of. It seems that she’s also afraid to ask for more than what she already has, asking, “Does that make me a bad person ???” when she says she wants more.
“I’m so lazy and I’m learning the word ‘MORE’… I’ve never had seconds at the dinner table and I know ESPECIALLY in LA a lot of people starve themselves but it’s weird … I WANT MORE lately 🍽 … does that make me a bad person ???” she asked.
However, it looks like Britney is trying to come to terms with accepting more in her life, even when it comes to simple things like a second helping of mac and cheese for dinner. She said she didn’t take seconds this time, but it looks like she’s considering that asking for more “isn’t so bad.”
“It’s weird just the other night someone made me the best mac and cheese … I swear I wanted more so bad !!!” she wrote. “But I didn’t do it then I thought about it 🤷🏼♀️ !!! Have I ever had seconds ??? It’s called MORE and maybe MORE isn’t so bad … and opening to MORE and the DOOR 🚪 !!!”